[專輯緣起] 2010年春在一場音樂會中巧遇錄音師東晏 一向吝於讚美的他直言喜歡我的酷與精緻 建議我在記錄現場音樂會之外，挑戰更細緻的出版製作 就這樣埋下了這專輯的種子 從狂放又思鄉的留學生 到拉扯於獨奏理想與現實環境間 的 cellistin 一路走來，逐漸成熟圓融 但 最初內裡的激情與憧憬也同時被磨耗了 弦轉於強烈又抑鬱的蘇俄時期 大型作品 與 甜蜜又惆悵的帝俄時期小品 之間 我要美麗又誠實地尋回消逝中的悸動 [Starting point of the album] Accidentally bumping into recording engineer Dong Yan at a concert in Spring 2010 he directly commented on the appreciation he has for the coolness and refinement of mine He suggested that I should take on a challenge to do studio recording that’s even more refined than just documenting a live concert Thus the seeds of this album was planted there and then Being a Cellistin, from a oversea student that's wild and always feeling nostalgic to an individual that's torn between a soloist's ideal and reality of one's surroundings on the way, the edges are slowly roughed out becoming mature, but all the passions and dreams once were there from within are also being worn out Strings swinging between the larger works from the Russian period that's strong yet depressive and short Russian Empire period pieces that are always sweet yet sentimental I intend to retrieve beautifully and earnestly the quivering emotions that's fading away 起始‧單純 Rachmaninoff：Prelude op.2 , No.1 相對於Rachmaninoff大部分多彩的音樂 這首早期作品映出了初到德國時早上九點上學時光的潔淨色調 去除複雜的音色變化與技巧，遙望那 單純 一天就這麼在恬靜的F大調印象中開始了 Rachmaninoff：Vocalise op.34 , No.14 高中剛畢業的生澀十八歲，離家來到了異國的Detmold小鎮 滿懷著鄉愁，好奇地探索起始中的新環境新生活 我弦轉，回望那位不服輸的女孩如無言歌般悠揚又惆悵的矛盾 這時手中頑固的老太太也若有所感地隨著十八歲的少女鬧起脾氣，時而歡笑，時而低泣 Beginning . Simplicity Rachmaninoff：Prelude op.2 , No.1 This early piece by Rachmaninoff, different from most of his other works that are much more flourishing in colours, reflects the neat colour tone of how a morning class at 9am could be like when I first arrived in Germany Eliminating the complexity of tone colour changes and techniques, gazing at the simplicity at a length That's how one would start a day with an impression of peacefulness in F major Rachmaninoff：Vocalise op.34 , No.14 Still an 18-year-old adolescent freshly graduated from high-school, leaving home to a small town called Detmold in another country Full of nostalgia, I explored with curiosity the new surroundings and life that's kicking off for me I pulled the strings, looking back at the girl who'd never admit defeat with contradiction that's like a song with no lyrics, melodious and melancholy That's when the stubborn old lady seemed to connect along with the girl, be it having a fit, occasionally laughing or mewling 啟示 求學時有幸參加了Mischa Maisky 的大師班，得到受用終身的啟示 他起乩般地示範如何把音樂像電影分鏡那樣，一個畫面一個畫面的串成故事 ''拉'' 出來..... 投射出狂熱的精神撞向我的心脈！ Prokofieff：Ballade op.15 說這個故事是筆不小的負擔 大提琴家必須在鋼琴排山倒海的壓力下沉著而不被淹沒地演奏 這也許是少有人演出或錄製這首Ballade的原因之一吧 我聽到鋼琴前奏如教堂的轟隆鐘響，敲起了這吳爾芙風格的（意識流的）故事 教堂旁的市集週而復始地聚集了嘈雜的人群而後又逐漸散去 在大提琴的撥奏下，畫面卡接到另一個不相干的冷漠街景 我冷眼旁觀地看著另一個自己被意圖不明的陌生人靠近而後追趕 氣喘吁吁，死命的逃亡者腿酸的同時手指也因劇烈pizzicato而感到疼痛 隨即跳上鐵灰色的火車 在con sordino虛且實的搖擺間向前駛去 隨意下站，尋找 許多曖昧與肯定　許多愉快與不愉快的時光　許多改變　許多災禍 許多懷舊的情感 緩慢移動之間，窗外又再傳來了教堂的鐘聲 Revelation At school I was lucky to attend the master class with Maestro Mischa Maisky, acquiring enlightenment that would last a lifetime As if possessed, he demonstrated how to 'pull' the music frame by frame as if it's a story formed by images from a movie storyboard The passion he projected hit me hard on the heart! Prokofieff：Ballade op.15 It's quite some burden to tell this story Cellists must be capable to perform calmly without being drowned out under the pressure of the piano This is probably one of the reasons why this ballade was seldom being performed or recorded I hear the piano prelude like hammering bells from a church, typing out the Woolf-esque story (of stream of consciousness style) The fair beside the church filled with noisy crowds that came and went, repeatedly With cello solo coming in, the scene was cut to another street that's cold and aloof, disrelated to the first Sitting on the sidelines, I looked on another self being chased by strangers with unknown intentions closing in The runaway ran as if there's no tomorrow, legs as if breaking yet fingers also in pain from a mad session of pizzicato Jumping onto a iron-gray train Heading forward in sways between fantasy and reality in con sordino Random arrival at a station, searching So many ambiguities and certainties, so many pleasant and unpleasant moments, so many changes, calamities and feelings of nostalgia Between movements in andiamo, church bells could again be heard from outside the windows 幸福 Borodin：Nocturne from String Quartet No.2 in D major 旅德時結交了幾位知己 聖誕節期間，我們互訪彼此居住的城鎮，認識對方的生活 店家都過節去了，街道冷清，但聖誕市集卻格外熱鬧 帶著市場Gluehwein(燒酒)入肚的暖意 微醺地沿著燈光黃暖的櫥窗徘徊，享受歡樂的假期 夜裡相投的朋友們聚在住屋內切磋廚藝，小酌並且交換禮物 我帶著持久至今的淡淡愜意，看著大提琴與鋼琴在3/4拍的A大調音樂中舞出 那擁有溫暖燭光與友人的幸福場域 Happiness Borodin：Nocturne from String Quartet No.2 in D major A few bosom friends was made during my stay in Germany For Christmas we took turns in visiting each other’s town to know how each of us’ life was like Shops were closed for holiday and the streets were cold and lonely, however the Christmas fair was quite the opposite With the heat that the Gluehwein from the fair brought to my stomach I lingered in slight drunkenness alongside the shop windows in the yellow glow, enjoying the merry time off Friends sharing the same ideals gathered under the same roof to cook food together, drink some wine and exchange presents With an ease that's ever so slightly yet lasting till now, I gazed upon the cello and piano swivelling into a dance along the notes in 3/4 A major, making up a state of happiness that's filled with nothing but warmth of candlelight and friendship 漫遊 Glazunov : Minstrel's Song , op.71 在萊茵河畔（Düsseldorf）居住的夏天，面臨自身極大的瓶頸，覺得琴怎麼拉都不好聽 恩師Johannes Goritzki溫言指引：感動人的音樂往往來自一顆澄澈的心 風度翩翩的他建議我把琴放下，在體驗生活中學習如何開心 就這樣，開始如吟遊詩人般漫遊在萊茵河畔，開始為期數個月的解鎖之旅 某天入夜後我仍在離住處好遠好遠的河畔 走到一個巨大的鐵橋邊，就那麼自在地跨過萊茵河，踏上另一個完全陌生的城鎮 人生的風景常在不意間，似這首歌在 Poco piu mosso處的轉折一樣～柳暗花明又一春 生命美好，何不放開心胸呢？ 漫遊中，我心裡逐漸平靜，不知不覺地跨過瓶頸 邁入另一個人生階段 Wandering Glazunov : Minstrel's Song , op.71 The summer spent in Düsseldorf by the Rhine, I felt stuck in a bottleneck, finding no pleasure from the music that I played Gratitude goes to my dear mentor Johannes Goritzki who guided me with his kind words: Music that moves usually comes from a heart of clarity With all the graces he suggested I should just let go of the cello, to learn the way to open my heart in experiencing what life’s all about That’s how I started to wander along the Rhine like a bard, for a few months to begin a trip to unlock my heart One night I stayed out late nearby the riverbank that’s quite a distance from my place Walking towards a giant iron bridge and heading across the Rhine at liberty to a town that’s completely strange to me Sceneries in life happens unexpectedly, just like this tune that twists at at poco piu mosso~ out of the shade of the willows, came bright flowers and another spring Life is beautiful, why don’t we simply let our hearts go? During the wandering, my heart gradually reached tranquility, thus the bottleneck was broken unknowingly Moving on to another stage in life 夜幕 Tchaikovsky：Nocturne op.19, No.4 獨自一人的夜，感觸 美好的人事物總是逝去地飛快 全神演出，曲終人散之後 快意與孤寂總同時襲上心頭 凡事要求細緻的我是敏感的 在一次又一次地逝去之後 對於美麗的邂逅，漸漸只願保留下單純的滿足感 Tchaikovsky：Valse sentimentale op.51 , No.6 花爾滋是我對擁有的假想 滿足於一人的夜 分不清虛幻與真實 就這樣睡吧 Nightfall Tchaikovsky：Nocturne op.19, No.4 At night alone, stirring emotions Beautiful people and things always fade out fast without a trace Giving it all in the performance, only to be attacked upon by both pleasure and loneliness at the same time as soon as things quiet down afterwards, be it music or the crowd I’ve always been this sensitive, being someone who asks for refinement in everything After fading out over and over again For beautiful encounters I gradually wish only to keep the simple feeling of satisfaction Tchaikovsky：Valse sentimentale op.51 , No.6 Valse is the hypothesis I have for possession Satisfied by night of solitude Unable to distinguish between imagination and reality It’s okay to just sleep 總結‧起承轉合 Schostakovich：Sonata for Cello and Piano op.40 [起] 似懂非懂的十八歲 暫別自幼生長的島國，踏上不規則的Bartok階梯 叩叩叩！叩叩叩！pizzicato般地探索每一扇新鮮的門 就這樣美麗地啟程了 [承] 在備受矚目的光彩之下，其實有許多失落被自身的好強所掩蓋而不為人知 老蕭堅定疾走的Allegro其實內裡藏有似曾相識的迷茫 [轉] 拖著Largo的步伐漫步於滿是積雪的寒冬後山，心頭懷有許多羈絆 表面困頓抑鬱的樂章，其實在聲部交錯間暗示了一個釋懷的方向 [合] 凝視靜定飛逝的風景 過往的酸與甜已成為滋潤音樂的養分，靜定凝視未來的旅程... Summary . Entanglements [Introduction] 18-year-old with not much vague idea Temporarily waving goodbye to the island where I grew up, heading up the irregular steps of Bartók Knock knock! Exploring each new door like pizzicato strings A beautiful journey has begun [Elucidation] Under the halo of high anticipation, actually there was a sense of loss that’s unknown to others, disguised by the eagerness to excel Allegro by Schostakovich, firm and quickening, in fact hides the confusion almost like déjà vu [Transition] Dragging the foot in largo behind the winter hills covered with snow, the heart is heavy in trammels A movement that appears to be tied down in depression, actually leaves a hint to a direction of relief between vocal parts [Summing up] Gazing upon the scenery that holds and fades The sweet and sour taste of the past has become the nourishment to the music, with eyes on the journey that the future would bring