Azaima Anderson writes about love, family, dogs, yoga with an eye for detail, poignancy and humor. All lyrics and music are by Azaima B Anderson. Barkin' up the Wrong Tree I curl up beside you waiting for you to wake. You jump out of bed. I've made the same old mistake Hoping when we're alone you'd take time for me. Disappointment comes too naturally. I clean the house, cook a meal that you like Rehearse what to say while you're off on a hike. I'm bursting with words that I must convey. Eyes glued to tv, your arms wave me away. chorus: Am I asking you wrong? Am I clinging too tight? Do I wait 'til too late in the dark of the night? Am I talking so soft you can't listen to me Or am I barking up the wrong tree? Let's talk it out. You throw up your wall. I rant and I shout. You turn to withdraw. I can't do it for you. I hope we'll learn And meanwhile I wait my turn. chorus bridge: I sniffle and storm, throw my arms in the air Pleading and searching for signs that you care. I still love you more and I'm still going to stay But there's times I think of running away. Let's talk it out. You throw up your wall. I rant and I shout. You turn to withdraw. I can't do it for you. I hope we'll learn And meanwhile I wait my turn. chorus Pennsylvania Country Tiger lilies blooming by a windy fishing stream Pennsylvania Country was an urban dweller's dream Never mind no plumbing or central heating on the farm I'd survive on pride that I'd found a home with charm. chorus: Deer and rabbits mowed the lawn. Stars shone bright when sun was gone. Lost my power every time it rained. Worked hard winters, never roved, a slave to stoking that old coal stove But I never really minded being chained. Years before, the house had stood beside a working mill. Folks there used it as a cover for their bootleg still. They kept a pig by their front door to warn of any dangers. Old Wooser squealed at family friends and grunted at the strangers. chorus Pennsylvania country taught me how life's supposed to be The lullaby of a babbling brook is the finest luxury. Though I've moved on, my heart stays fond of folk back there today Who taught me to enjoy my life the good old fashioned way. chorus Gratitude Born in the '20s, child of the depression, to a carpenter and somebody's maid Fled Germany and Hitler's oppression. Kept house for my mother instead. Though she never did hug me or tell me she loved me, I had every reason to know. She said she would give me the shirt off her back, and in my heart I knew it was so. chorus: Love finds expression in all sorts of ways from a tail wag or hug to a gift. I'll treasure with gratitude all of my days the ones who gave my life a lift. Stricken by polio in 1916, a helpless boy lay on the floor. His battle ax mother and milquetoast father taught him golf and bridge and no more. He never knew what I had done with my life. Conversations often wore thin. But father said over and over that I was the best thing that happened to him. chorus Born in a kennel as a pet food test pup, the best friend a lonely girl'd have, He'd haul in big sticks and then chew them all up And his dopey face forced me to laugh. Through his eight too-short years he licked off all my tears And his tail pounded when I came in. No longer acts silly, he's pushing up lilies, but still I go walking with him. chorus Yoga "Where can you let go?" teacher's velvet voice intones. Body's screaming "stop that stretch!" and popping creaky bones. Gradually with deeper breaths I soften to the pose And focus my attention from my crown down to my toes chorus: We are greater than the sum of things we did today. Our bodies are a miracle in motion. By taking time to have a rest and put our stress at by, we fill our lives with power and devotion. Hold the posture longer than your body'd ever planned. Ease it back to normal. Feel your inner space expand. Take the time to soak it in, the joy, the pulse's flow Encountering the wisdom of the cobra, moon and bow. chorus ommmm chorus ommmm Chemistry in Action You teach a bear of class, and it's called organic, makes my GPA sink like a Titanic. I struggled through each lesson 'til your message finally got through. You told us to play with our models one night, but a perfect solution was in plain sight. The best model I could play with would be you. You're chemistry in action, free radical attraction, a demonstration of activation energy. When you show me about the forces, my circulation courses. Won't you come on up and do some spin spin coupling with me? Well watching you move up there is good for kicks, but my average has fallen to a forty-six. With fear and trepidation, I am shaking as I ask for your help. You explain to me of meso symmetries. I check out your physical properties And find new melting points deep inside myself. You're chemistry in action. I'm driven to distraction. I can't look you in the eye, or you would plainly see. Will I summon up the nerve to roll down that reaction curve? Won't you come on and do some double bonding with me? I never knew molecules had such implications. There's torsional strain on my marital relations. The vows are easy 'til temptation dances in your face every day. Should I sit up front and watch you draw an ester or chill out in the ice bath 'til end of semester? Can we catalyze the process or neutralize it all away? Chemistry in action, free radical attraction, you're a demonstration of activation energy. Will we summon up the nerve to roll down that reaction curve? Won't you come on and some double bonding with me? Chemistry in action, woah woah. Lonely Kind of Love It's a dance out of step we do every day, a lifetime of needs but little to say So much to do, but never time. How are you? You say, "fine." You say it's my turn to cook. I say it's yours to sweep. You say you would have swept if I'd let you sleep. I say the only time you listen's when we're in bed, and we wonder why life feels dead. We're... chorus: Chasing the same dream, missing the same hug, on the same treadmill, craving the same drug. Playing the blame game, victim and judge, each holding tight to our grudge. It's a lonely kind of love, lonely kind of love. Once in a while we surrender the fight. I have a good day. You see the light. We promise to keep our moods at bay and the dance falls in step for a day. Then tensions get tight and we're keeping score. I say, "help me tonight." You say you need it more. Psychic says stars are where I'll find love pure. Your father tells you working harder's the cure. chorus bridge: I admit that I hide so you can't ask for more. You fake deafness when I call your name. I cringe with old pain when you brush me aside. We suffer silently in our shame. What if an angel could join us by hand and guide us every step of the way? I could protect you. You'd understand, and we'd find the kind words to say. No more... chorus One Day One day I looked at you and I couldn't take my eyes away. I knew I couldn't have you, so I wanted you for just a day. I was caught in an obsession whose only real expression was to gaze at you So I took my set of morals, dropped a bomb and blew them through. One night, the moon shone bright as you took me by the hand. You held me in your arms and we wrote words in the sand And I know that, then, you meant it. You thought that what you felt was true But now you're back with your life and I'm fighting my own way through. Now with a tear and a sigh, I see I've lost my way. I want much more of you than I can have in a day. Through the good and the bad, I'm still glad I had my time with you But I'm not one to suffer, so I know well enough we're through. One day I looked at you and I couldn't take my eyes away. You Lie As a preface to my letter, let me say right here that I wasn't any better to you, weren't no dear. Still I covered all my tracks while yours came out clear. You lie, you lie, you lie. You lie like the rug on my floor. You lie like the dust at my door. Like a swatted fly. Like a milk cow's pie, you lie, you lie, you lie. You said you stayed at John's, but that wasn't her name. In addition, John's address and hers weren't the same. Oh, you think she's unappealing, do you? What a shame. You lie, you lie, you lie. You lie like a tick on a dog. You lie like a wart on a hog. Like the eggs I fry, like a pig in his sty, you lie, you lie, you lie. You told me I should call you 'round midnight and when you're not home they say you're studying in the library again. What'd you learn there when I know that it's been closed since ten? You lie, you lie, you lie. You lie like my uncle's toupe. You lie like the curds in the whey. Cross my heart, hope you die. Stick a pin in your eye. You lie, you lie, you lie. It's Not About You Sorry if I stared at you as if you were my lover. Something in me got too big. I turned to you for cover. Forgive me if you find my ways a little too intense. God gave me lots of courage, but I'm short on common sense. It's not about you, magnetic pull, obsessive mind and thumping heart. You're just a trigger. You're not the real thing. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell the two apart. I chose you to divert me from the pain of being alone, the lie that I was not enough as I was on my own. I know I get this way sometimes when ego takes control. I fluctuate from feeling great to crawling down a hole. chorus I thought I had no power to combat the addict's pull. But now, instead of helplessness, I feel complete and full. The power's all around me in a breath, a song, a touch. If I fix on you then I deny I have so very much. chorus Thank you for reminding me of love that's all around. Because I felt so awfully lost, I'm grateful to be found. There's just one universal love, and we all have our piece. By trusting its abundance, our loneliness will cease. chorus Good Days Too I used to live enslaved to voices not my own. My days were filled with tears of grief and rage. My mouth was sealed cause when I spoke they told me I was wrong I never knew just what was real and what was staged. I was victimized, but that's not my whole story. There's a life beyond reliving all the pain. As I heal myself, I open doors before me and I help ensure that others break the chain. chorus: We're a special family of unsung heroes. We've survived the worst and now we're living free. We used to be ashamed, but now the truth is named, life's richer than we dreamed that it could be. No I'll slurp my soup real loudly if I wanna. I'll laugh in silent rooms if it feels good. I'll leave my play room messy, and live comfortable, not dressy, act on what I feel instead of what I should. I'm now in touch with what goes on inside me. My body's mine and yours belongs to you. i'm true to my voice even if they chide me, and though troubles come, I'm having good days too. chorus