Rudy Watcha Doing No self respecting band can call itself “SKA” without writing a song about rude boys, and while our self respect has been called into question many times, there is no denying that we have definitely written a song about them. Rude boys are young men with bad language, light fingers and extremely dodgy sanitary habits. While they are not dangerous they are highly annoying and unpleasant to sit next to in the bus or a crowded bomb shelter. For a time we employed two to go to our competitors’ gigs and drive customers our way. Since then we have learned to play better. In the Borough/Burrow/Borrow/Barack O’bamo Magnus wrote this song very quickly. It just seemed to flow out of bits of his brain that weren’t doing anything else at the time. But the band had no such luck with the title, over which there were many debates, some involving lumps of rock. Never mind though, since we have fine tuned the lyrics to work with whatever version you want. In fact, I think you could throw in almost any word and it will mean the same. Our lyrics are a bit like that. World in a Box When this song was first sent to me by personal messenger, I was being oiled up by a Lance Corporal in the Swiss Guard – but that’s another story I might share with you later on twitter. I take things very literally, so before I would play this I insisted on knowing what material the box was constructed from, and how big it was. Was it printed on the outside? Was it recyclable or perhaps made from one of the more smelly varieties of cheese. My band members informed me that this was about TV, and they threw things at me and tipped me headfirst into my ancestral worm farm. We all laughed, including me. But I have not forgotten. Going to the Moon Pezmo’s on a complex cocktail of prescription meds that control every facet of his personality. He no longer thinks he is a crème brulee, which is an improvement. But sometimes there are side effects, and this song is one of them. The only place Pez has actually been is to pick up his cheque at the dole office, though at the time I suspect he believed he was going to the moon. His original idea I am told, was “Goin’ to see some strippers on the Moon” but that was vetoed by a court injunction which is still in force. Blue Manor Is this about a crab? Is it about being sad in a large house? Is it about a risqué attitude towards shoppers in tightly packed checkout queues? Your guess is as good as mine, perhaps better considering my generally advanced state of intoxication. Anyway, it is a serious song with an intense message. Enjoy it or not. What do I care? Ice on the Sun Another serious Brew song. I think Sid had just broken up with his girlfriend or flushed his pet rabbit down the toilet by accident; I am not certain of this fact as he keeps changing the story. Suffice it to say, the whole idea of ice on the sun is ludicrous, and just goes to show the ever-decreasing standard of education in this country today. Or I could be charitable and suggest Sid wrote it while he was unhinged and insane. Mary This song was originally in our “too bad even for Special Brew” pile, which is actually an impressive structure that has recently been condemned by the local council. The problem was that it’s actually a love song about our pet hedgehog, Smelly. This turns out to be a really hard word to rhyme, even for people who can spell- which most of us cannot. Then Foxy had a vision, which later turned out to be another bout of alcoholic poisoning. Why not change “Smelly” to “Mary” and “scratching” to “skanking”, he slurred. The rest is history. Thanks Foxy. Thanks Jack Daniels. She's Not Ready Mr SunTan is a happily married man, or at least he was until his lovely wife heard this song. The first rule of marriage is never to tell the absolute truth and avoid CCTV cameras at all costs since they can ruin an otherwise flawless alibi. While that’s two rules, you get the point. I told him this and urged him, if he persisted with this crazy scheme, to at least sing the lyrics in Sanskrit or an obscure Papuan dialect. But no – he would not listen, such is his dedication to the art of the song. While he still has residency at his house, he now has that look of a beaten man. He only has himself to blame. Angel Special Brew is a sensitive, new age band. We like nothing better than slow walks along windswept beaches, curling up with a mug of hot coco, stroking our pussies and poetry readings on Saturday nights. We have two ambitions. One is to use Ska music to increase love and harmony in the Middle East, and the other is to perform with naked women. This song is about such a woman. Being romantics at heart we all instantly fell in love with Angel and her two friends, but it was not to be. Exotic dancers are, to say the very least, fickle, and it all ended in tears; the lyrics say it all. Different Life If you follow the directions in this song and listen to it for 3:32 minutes, you can immediately change the life you have – you know, the one with a mortgage, your job as a fish stroker, and that jock itch you haven’t been able to shake for years. Instead you can be an international jetsetting playboy (or playgirl if you prefer) with squillions of dollars and facebook friends. I can’t believe we are giving this song away for free with the rest of the album. [Disclaimer: Use of this song is at the discretion and risk of the person listening to it and no guarantees, explicit or otherwise, are made that this song will contribute anything in your life except wasting 3:32 minutes of it ]