Moon Landing Conspiracy: The Musical MLC tells the fictional account of an alternate reality in which NASA, the CIA, various Presidential and political figures have colluded with history to complete the most effective conspiracies known to humankind. Beginning in 1948 and marching throughout the 60's and various Cold War confrontations, our story eventually settles in on the mission of Commander Nell Hansoft, Lt. Buzz Hancock and Lt. Tom Collins as they try to become the first human beings to visit the moon. After losing faith during their time in space, the astronauts fade into obscurity as newly elected President Jimmy Carter tries to put an end to the previous Administration shenanigans. Inspired by the many mysteries of the Internet, Moon Landing Conspiracy : The Musical attempts a thoughtful, honest and psychedelic examination into the souls and ideologies of various conspirators as they attempt to speak 'Truth to Power'. Dedicated to the many who have invested so much of their lives toward these mysteries, The Peasant Revolution Band offers our newest conceptual LP as a beginners guide into this twisted version of our Established history. Moon Landing Conspiracy : The Musical SIDE I The Conspiracy Twist Mr. Truman’s War (Or How The Cold War Was An Ill-Conceived Lie) Race To The Moon Sputnik LHO (The Shots Rang Out) Cold War Countdown Stanley Will Direct Us We’ll Leave These Van Allen Belts Behind Earthwalk SIDE II Magnificent Desolation The Selling of Apollo Night to Day No Lonely Days Tricky Dick Presidential Hand-Off Hangar 17-76 I’ll Punch Your Face! This World’s Gotta Change The Conspiracy Twist Key = D BPM = 120 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums Spud Siegel - mandolin Lint Chocolate - lead guitar Talbott Guthrie - percussion Bmin F# G D I’ve heard it all before -- I’ve heard it all before---in A place we’re not allowed to go They call it Bohemian grove-- D Cuz darling dontcha know We’ve got a brand new dance to show A It’s got moves that ya can’t resist D Everyone Conspiracy twist I said baby - I insist If you’re ever feeling really pissed Loosen up & shake your wrists Everyone Conspiracy twist G E D Cause the images we’ve seen have all been cleaned G E D And the truth we try to find has all been mined G E D B7th If we ever dig something up - there’ll be someone there to shut you up A7th F#7th Dontchya deny conspiracies can blow the mind D Cuz darling dontcha know We’ve got a brand new dance to show A It’s got moves that you can’t resist D Everyone Conspiracy twist Now the moon may seem real Like an Astronaut named Neil But when the government has to insist Everyone conspiracy twist Everyone Conspiracy twist Everyone Conspiracy twist But our story really begins in 1948 - President Truman had narrowly won Reelection and the Atomic Age was upon us… Mr. Truman’s War (Or How The Cold War Was An Ill-Conceived Lie) Key = A BPM = 122 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / banjo / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums Spud Siegel - mandolin Talbott Guthrie - percussion A E Mr. Truman’s War -- Whoah - Mr. Truman’s War-- F#min B7th D A The ill-conceived notions of per-pet-ual war-- E F#minor Cuz-- Everybody said you’re gonna be a hero in the end my friend= Ooooh--- again D Bminor A But the Industrial Mili-tary Complex had just begun Ooooh--- Military Complex-Military Complex E Bmin F#min And Stalin said that you were dumb - as DeGaulle was on a Colonist Run-- D Bmin E Mao Tse Tung said to give ‘em the gun -- Then you said, “We’ve got the Atom Bomb” A E Mr. Truman’s War -- Whoah - Mr. Truman’s War-- F#min B7th D A Ready or not the Atomic Age is right at your door-- D Bminor A Then Korea came right along -- and MacArthur had to move along-- Ooooh--- move along E Bmin F#min The battle of Inchon -- had gone all wrong & wrong Whooah Inchon Wrong & Wrong E Bmin F#min Then the Soviets launched Sputnik - And all we had was Tricky Dick D Bmin E But outta the west of SAG came a voice -- from an actor named Ronald Reagan-- SOLO Whoah, Mr. Truman’s War -- Mr. Truman’s War -- We Ain’t got no perspective and you ain’t no F-D-R-- Whoah, Joseph Stalin’s War -- Joseph Stalin’s War -- Genocidal maniac who’s a Hellish Boar A E Mr. Truman’s War -- Whoah - Mr. Truman’s War-- D A Ready or not the Atomic is right at your door-- D A is right at your door-- RACE TO THE MOON Key = E maj BPM = 140 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums Spud Siegel - pocket trumpets F#min Abmin A E Race-- Race-- Race-- Race to the Moon--- E Abmin We’ve been flying through the open skies C# B E F#min Burn -ing up our Fossil Fuels -- E Abmin We’ve been looking to the USSR C# B E F#min Cuz their rockets make it further than ours B B C#min A Everybody’s - Afraid of Losing - Everybody’s got reservations ‘bout this F#min Abmin A E Race-- Race-- Race-- Race to the Moon--- Ever since we’ve built NASA here - Our scientists have been acting weird Secret Nazis hiding in the States Our Space Program’s got a certain fate B B C#min A Everybody’s - Afraid of Losing - Everybody’s got reservations ‘bout this F#min G#min A E Race-- Race-- Race-- Race to the Moon--- A E You’re so - So like a Soviet to me A B You’re so - So like a Soviet to me ya Godless Commies F#min Abmin A F#min Abmin A Race-- Race-- Race-- Race-- Race-- Race-- E Race to the Moon--- We’ve been testing things in New Mexico Atomic power is really fun Especially when we test it on our soldiers Weather balloons & gamma radiation Sputnik Key = F# minor BPM = 80 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Dick Midnite - drums Lint Chocolate - lead guitars Leedouglas - midi saxophone F#min A B You break me down -- You push me up -- I told you the world ain’t that corrupt -- F#min A B C# You’re full throttle, baby, Nagasaki ain’t got nothing - nothing on you F#min E D Why don’t you call me And tell me what’s up? F#min E D Don’t ignore me Cause you’re phone’s been tapped F#min E D B C# You choose you lose you’re as high -- As Sputnik --- F#min A B GTR BREAK - Lint Chocolate I bring you trust You give me sh*t Getting in - to one another’s pits You’re full throttle baby You don’t even really know Know your name -- F#min E D Why don’t you call me And tell me what’s up? F#min E D Don’t ignore me Cause you’re phone’s been tapped F#min E D B C# You choose you lose you’re as high -- As Sputnik --- You choose you pick your high --- as Sputnik SOLO Nah-Nah-Na- Naaahh You’re high as Sputnik F#min A B F#min A B F#min A B - C# LHO (The Shots Rang Out) Key = C maj BPM = 120 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums / spoken word Lint Chocolate - electric guitar Brian Shaylor - violin Leedouglas - midi saxophone C G C F It was a warm - and sunny Dallas kind of day C G C F Streets were dry - Rain had stopped -and the clouds had given way - Dmin G C The motorcade traveled on it’s route Dmin G C D7th Secret Service Scanned the crowds for loons and for one split second D7th D7th G7th You could just feel it -- A nations’ innocence -- popped like a water balloon --- Emin G Shots rang out oh no--- Shots rang out -- from where? Emin G OLD MAN WITNESS ‘Twas confusing ‘Twas despair GERMAN VOICE We think we’ve got a story But we should’ve been clear WOMAN VOICE ‘Twas a seventh story window - They heard the shots ring near G F# Bmin And Cam -e- lot was burning G F# Bmin You couldn’t hear a sound --- on the streets G F# Bmin Death - oh death you must be coming A And a family lost their father -- C Bb G And the Nation lost it’s conscience -- And the world was just too hard to figure out now-- figure out now Gminor F Eb D Whoahh - and After the shots rang out What did they do in Dalles After the shots rang out Gminor F Eb D After the shots rang out Hey - Why is Dulles calling me? And where’s LBJ? And Governor Connelly? And what the hell is Richard Nixon doing down here in Dallas at this time? ! Who was it? Wait---This just in from J. Edgar and the FBI -- we’re looking for a… WHAT DOES J EDGAR HOOVER SAY? HEY JACK RUBY -- GOOD TO SEE YA AGAIN DO WE HAVE A NAME YET? WHO ARE THOSE HOBOS ANYWAYS? White male goes by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald… D G D Lee-Harvey Os-wald -- when will we know D G D Lee Harvey Oswald -- When will we grow --- Bmin G Well We know that you did it - Hoover told us why E G Says your a You Commie Pinko - We knew that you’d sympathize A Ya did it - just say that you did it - we’ll get you your lawyer - Just acknowledge that you did It… Just admit that you acted Alone--- Just admit that you acted Alone--- G D Just admit that you acted Alone--- LHO Acted ALone - DOn’t You Know -- LHO - He Acted -- Alone E B7th Hey-Hey Scooby -- DOntcha know it’s Jack Ruby And he’s just out here defending the honor of Ms. Kennedy--Look Out - GUN SHOT FX E Ab He’s cleaned up our mess - left by Allen DUlles A F# All those Cuban missions - David Ferry was Bitchin’ about A Amin E After I said after After the shots -- rang out--- COLD WAR COUNTDOWN (Alex Korner style) Key = E maj BPM = 140 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums / spoken word E B7th A E Well there’s a Cold War that’s going - On and on And now it looks like it’s time for Viet Nam A E Dontch’ya know? We’re gonna send out troops today A F# B Our new boss Well his name is L - B - J E B7th A E Our New Marching Orders say we must be friendly The CIA has made a mess of everything already A E Dontch’ya know? We’re gonna be blamed for all these killings A F# B Our new boss Well his name is L - B - J Hey - Hey -Hey BREAKDOWN E B7th A E Our new boss Well he ain’t got much to say Our new boss He quit the other day? A E Amin I ain’t seen nothing like it He must’ve felt some kind of guilt A F# C#min For all that kind of killing Gotta wonder how NASA was ever built? Out of Johnson’s guilt? Was NASA really built outta Johnson’s guilt? GUS GRISSOM C#min B A E ‘Bullshit!”, NASA -- That’s bullshit and you know it! We’re so sorry Gus Grissom-- Gus done blowed up - a casualty of the Cold War We’re so sorry Gus Grissom-- His life was solid - his integrity unflappable We’re so sorry Gus Grissom-- But he all done blown up all the same We’re so sorry Gus Grissom-- It’s such a shame when life’s been drained And it feels like a life in vain -- But not to worry - there’s a Cold War Countdown shining on GUS GRISSOM How are we going to get to that moon -- when we can’t even talk between buildings? How are we ever gonna get to that moon -- if we can’t even talk between three buildings? WE’RE HAVING TROUBLE HEARING YOU, GUS? DO YOU COPY , GUS? WE’VE LOST GRISSOM! (Whispered) Kill him -- EXPLOSION SFX STANLEY WILL DIRECT US Key = D maj BPM = 128 signature = ¾ Jeff Dodge - vocals / Kubrick / guitars / keys Talbott Guthrie - percussion / Monkeys Rich Reece - drums / spoken word Steven Cebula - bass Spud Siegel - mandolin Brian Shaylor - fiddle Gmin Emin Gmin Emin Gmin A D Bmin STANLEY No - George - NO - How many times do I gotta say no?! absolutely not! Are you insane? I am staying in England until this is done -- you just can’t make me…No, George - I’m really not interested. Yeah - she’s doing fine...so are the kids. What’s your point, if I may ask? NASA OFFICER (garbled over phone) STANLEY Oh God no - you guys just leave her outta this - are you kidding me? No - I uhh - Okay - I guess I was just having editors’ block anyway -- Okay-Okay -- One weekend only - we can do it here at Elstreet. Yeah - uh-huh - Yeah - (very sarcastically) Yeah - it’s such an ‘honor’ to serve my country, sir - yes now--uh huh - you too- buh-bye. Phone slams Fucking NASA pricks! Gmin Emin Gmin Emin Just got off the phone with our friend the director Gmin A D Bmin He seemed very mad but said he’d consider Gmin Emin Gmin Emin It’s really not that much we’re asking him to do Gmin A D Bmin A couple random shots Astr-o-naut suits - & maybe some actors too A diminished G D Ohh Don’t worry -- Stanley -- will direct us A diminished G Gmin A Ahhh- Do not fear - Cause Stanley will direct us Fmim F# Fmin F# Can he be trusted? Did he make fun of us? Ab A Ab A G Gmin He’s very clever made Strangelove & Spartacus? Gmin Emin Gmin Emin Ohh Don’t worry -- Stanley -- will direct us Gmin Emin Gmin Emin Just got off the phone with our friend the President Gmin A D Bmin He seemed intoxi cated He’s increased our budget D D Now Stanley can do what we wants G A D Stanley will do what we want Are you sure? Stanley will do what we want I believe you -- He’ll do what we want! WE’LL LEAVE THESE VAN ALLEN BELTS BEHIND Key = C maj BPM = 110 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys John Malloy - Lead Organ Guitar Steven Cebula - bass Dick Midnite - drums C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C Radiation surrounds -- our planet C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C Without it -- wouldn’t be life as we know it C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C high energy electrons -- trapped by the Earth's magnetosphere C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C All the math that I do - just to prove - that it’s all true - C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C That we’ll win this race against the Soviets - no matter what’s the truth -- Amin E F C All the math that we do -- We’ll need a Saturn 5 to get ‘em through-- Amin E F Bb G All the math that we do -- We’ll need a Saturn 5 to get ‘em through-- C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C geomagnetic -- field lines open flux of particles -- wouldn’t be life as we know it A little Antimatter confinement - won’t last a day or two I swear it’s safe for he & Collins and you Amin E F C All the math that we must do - just to prove that it’s all true - That we’ll win this race against the Soviets - no matter what we do-- G C G C Hey - Hey it’s LBJ -- does he care what we even did today He’s grown obsessed with Vietnam he’s trying to kill off all their mom’s He’s left us at the whims of the CIA - CIA - C Dmin Emin F - F-Emin-Dmin- C Radiation surrounds -- our planet Without it -- wouldn’t be life as we know it high energy electrons -- trapped by the Earth's magnetosphere All the math that I do - just to prove - that it’s all true Amin E F C All the math that we do -- We’ll need a Saturn 5 to get ‘em through-- Amin E F C All the math that we do -- We’ll need a Saturn 5 to get ‘em through-- Amin E F C All the math that we do -- We’ll need a Saturn 5 to get ‘em through-- Amin E F Bb G But Believe me -- We’ll Leave these Van Allen Belts Behind-- in time-- G Gmin Gmin F C F Gmin F C F Gmin F C F All of this thanks to JFK -- If only he’d lived to see this special day Gmin F C F All of this thanks to JFK -- If only he’d lived to see special this day EARTHWALK (Instrumental) Key = C maj BPM = 120 signature = ¾ Jeff Dodge - dobro / zither / acoustic guitars Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums Count Kellam - saw John Malloy - lead guitar Fminor C Fminor C Fminor C Amin G G Fminor C Fminor C Fminor C Amin G G Bridge: Amin Amin A min G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin E Fminor C Fminor C Fminor C Amin G G Fminor C Fminor C Fminor C Amin G F Fmin Fmin G G Bridge (Repeat as Coda until fade): Amin Amin A min G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin E Amin Amin A min G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin Amin G-G-Ab-Amin Amin Amin E MAGNIFICENT DESOLATION Key = D maj BPM = 133 Jeff Dodge - guitars / keyboards Steven Cebula - bass Leedouglass - Midi Saxophone Dick Midnite - Drums D G7th D G7th D E7th A G7th D D Bmin D Bmin Confounding man - since times -be- gan Gmin A What is the source of life? -- What causes all our strife? D Bmin What is wrong with all these people now? Gmin A Ants scattered on a tiny planet Can’t hardly stand it D Bmin They get hopped up on bollocks & witchcraft yeah’ yeah Gmin A They lose all their perspective -- hurl out every invective D Bmin toward a world that is so beautiful --- Gmin A If you look at it from the moon -- transcends your deluded mood Magnificent desolation <BRIDGE>- Emin How fragile the bubble of life Precious load of moon rocks A Put me out in the lunar orbit Put me out in the lunar orbit D Bmin Magnificent Desolation Magnificent Desolation D Bmin I’m flying back to the earth -- Gmin A Red white and blue ain’t got -- nothing much to do - with this D Bmin Ticker tape parade -- scattered on tranquility Gmin A An irrational and unthinking instinct -- go- oh you old moonwalker -- Go - oh - Moonwalker - Go - oh - Moonwalker Moo--oonnnn - walker E G Human eye - billions of years ago E G Back from the sun In the human eye A Oh moon walker D Bmin Magnificent desolation D Bmin D Bmin Confounding man - since time began Gmin A What is the source of life? -- What is the source of life? D Bmin What is wrong with all these people now? Gmin A What’s so fucking wrong with people? D Bmin They get hopped up on bollocks ona bullshit all the time They lose all perspective A Of a World that’s beautiful Of a World that’s beautiful Of a World that’s beautiful The Selling of Apollo Key = A maj BPM = 106 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - Drums Spud Siegel - pocket trumpets MISSION CONTROL Eagle One - please continue Radio SIlence... G-A A G-A A Hey Apollo -- Yes, Zeuss -- Whatchya wanna know? Ohh - I’m just wondering -- Did we ever really go to the moon? If I told ya the truth what good would it do? A E F#min C# You’d hate my lies wouldn’t comprehend the truth A E F#min C# Our mission had been running late wasn’t much else to do D A F#min E About the selling of Apollo--- D RIFF Cause no one knows the lies we’ve told -- that we only flew so far away -- D G E E7th in the skies in the sk -- ies of lies -- Uh huh A E F#min C# But the CIA was ready - to make the whole thing go by ‘69 A E F#min C# So many NASA personnel - we had to keep them all blind D A About the selling of Apollo F#min D RIFF Cause no one knows the lies we’ve told -- that we only flew so far away -- D G E E7th in the skies in the sk -- ies of lies C#min F#7th Nixon Said Stanley’d get us to the moon -- Kubrick? C#min F#7th Made sure Stalked His family with LBJ’s goons -- I knew it! B7th Emin Ohhh -- in 1969 -- We’ve really pulled it off! B7th Emin In 1969 -- Who will ever know D C B G-A A G-A A Night to Day (lyrics by Amelia Kidd) Key = G maj BPM = 130 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / banjo / keys Steven Cebula - bass Dick Midnite - drums Lint Chocolate - Lead guitars G C G C G C Sometimes on a dark stormy night -- When I have nothing but fear-- Only wind - rain - and cold -- arrive here --- D C Oh and how the people have fright -- D C C G I don’t know what to do - where to go-- left or right -- G C G C G C And now the night is over -- I finally fell a- sleep G C D It’s so quiet here -- not one word nor a peep Emin G And it’s hard to open my eyes Emin G D But I think it’s ‘cause of that awesome sunrise-- C C Look! Big Bright flowers! G D Warm nice showers Wide blue skies C7th G Oh it’s so easy to open my eyes! G C G C G C G And now - in every way -- It has turned night to day -- NO LONELY DAYS Key = D maj BPM = 96 (Lyrics by Jeff S. Dodge / Music by Jeff S. Dodge & Steven Cebula) Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums / spoken word Talbott Guthrie - conga Lint Chocolate - lead guitar Mission Control Commander I’m getting worried about Hansoft, Collins - I think he might be cracking up! D G D G Why do I keep on trying this? Kaleidoscope eyes and monoliths -- D G I was living in some backwoods town Everyone was trying to put everybody down Isn’t it a pity - Now our town’s a city - I’m an astro--naut who’s got no--body in his life now -- A I’m just a walking contradiction to the truth-- E A I really need some truth now - Yeah - yeah -- Uhh hey-hey -- A little truth, now All these interlopers-- trying to read my mind -- I’ve got my reasons-- say the truth sometimes This whole mission-- stinks of submission we’re not gonna pull it off any--how-- But I miss her... C G D A Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- I wanna stay with you -- C G D A Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- I wanna stay with you -- C G D B Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- I wanna stay with you -- B Emin A Cause tomorrow’s just another day -- Emin A Contemplation only brings us pain -- but E A Oooh --- Ahhhh ---- Oooh -----Ahhhh Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- Gonna stay with you -- Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- Gonna stay with you -- Ohh-- No lonely Days - Want to be with you -- Gonna stay with you -- Cause tomorrow’s just another day -- Contemplation will only bring us pain -- TRICKY DICK Key = A maj BPM = 96 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - Drums HR HALDEMANN Sir, Buzz is starting to talk about what he knows … What he actually did see… TRICKY DICK Give him to Howard Hunt - He’ll know what to do! HR HALDEMANN I would if I could, sir, but those damned blacks, Jews & Homosexuals are subjecting him to an undue amount of pressure related to the whole Watergate thing… TRICKY DICK (Into Intercom) Errrr---hang on. Rose- ROSE (Over Intercom) Yes, Mr. President? TRICKY DICK Can ya come in here and help me figure out how to turn off this Goddamn tape recorder?! HR & I need to discuss something ‘off the record’. ROSE Why certainly, Mr. President TRICKY DICK Now -- he’s not talking about the thing in Dallas at all, is he? Give it to me straight, HR...Aww Christ - you recorded over the wrong part, Rose?! What the hell is wrong with you? Governments Lyin’ -- Governments Lyin’ -------- All day long It’s left me cryin’ -- they ain’t even tryin’ Gubment lying -- So I sing us this song Come sing along INTRO - A Funk A E A E Aww, Tricky Dick I liked you too, -- You always knew where to get the screws C#7th F#min7th Always knew what you wanted to do -- C#7th F#min-descending riff against the Kennedy’s too B7th D C#7th You always knew A E A E Aww, Tricky Dick I will follow you, -- protect your daughter Tricia from George Duba-uuu C#7th F#min7th Tricky Dick always knew what you wanted to do -- against the C#7th F#min-descending riff Blacks, Hispanics and Jews B7th D C#7th Homosexuals too F#min E F#Min Yeah You always knew With your enemies list Always knew how to find a Mob hit With your CIA connections Internal rejections J Edgar’s distractions Now Elvis wants something Until you knew---there’s no one left to blame but you-- D B C#7th Yeah Anyone can disappear Yeah - Dick, you know Anyone can disappear B F#min G D B Nixon is a psychopath just watch him unfold F# Gmin A Nixon is a psychopath just watch him unfold D A Cuz the karma is due -- on all a these un-truths -- G D E And you’ve seen what the CIA F#min-descending riff can do --- to -- you To anybody that it wants to screw --- Aww Tricky Dick - your fate is nearly due... But ya won in you’ve won 1972 PRESIDENTIAL HANDOFF Key = B maj BPM = 60 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums Hail to the Chief Intro GERALD FORD Well, I’ve categorized these documents alphabetically for ya, President Carter, and I think you’ll find everything’s in order. JIMMY CARTER Why thank you, President Ford. I really appreciate you & Mrs. Ford sharing all of these great classified White House snack recipes’ with Rosalyn and I! GERALD FORD Nonsense - Pedro in the kitchen makes an incredible Guacamole Dip! JIMMY CARTER Just wonderful...absolutely wonderful. Hmmm. GERALD FORD Umm--Catch that Steelers-Cowboys game the other day? Really liking some of them boys… JIMMY CARTER President Ford, I just can’t ignore this any longer...the CIA and FBI just gave me my first classified off-record briefing and… GERALD FORD Aww Jesus Christ, Jimmy!! You’re just gonna launch right into it, aren’t ya? These damned Presidential Hand-off’s...I’ll admit - we’re just not very good at abdicating power... JIMMY CARTER Jerry -- maybe I’m just misunderstanding, but --I -- I can’t ignore some very basic items here...and I have to ask what in the hell have you guys been doing these past twenty years?! It just doesn’t even make sense… GERALD FORD Well, Jimmy, I’ll tell you what the hell happened. Mistakes were made...conclusions were drawn...and nobody really gave a sh*t. Ya know? They got their tits and the ol’ a** and rock and roll---and drugs! Don’t forget all of that marijuana! They went and did their thing...and we did what we do best…We made war. And, we made money! I’ll tell ya, this Apollo Program is pay dirt! We can milk this thing for centuries!! CIA is even telling me about some Californian kid out there named George Lucas. He’s apparently got some great screenplay he’s been shopping around. JIMMY CARTER I just -- I just can’t continue this sh*t. That’s what it is, Jerry, and you know it. But when in God’s green earth did this deception start? GERALD FORD Well...I’ll tell ya Jimmy Broadway Show Tune / Mel Brooks style starts in BASS INTRO Ab C#7th E B It started out with World War II -- Henry Ford became a Nazi the Atom Bomb brought about stalemates And Roswell brought us into the Space Age C#min A E B But we got a little carried away -- when we killed off J--F-- K - C#min A E F# we ‘replaced’ him with L--B-- J -- nobody won but what a giant payday E Emin It was wrong - But the economy grew so strong-- B Ab C#7th Emin Just Boom! And Explode!!! Pow! Right In da kisser --- B Ab C#7th F# B Don’t ya see, Jimmy CARTER HOW, War --- is great for business--- See, we’ve got this thing called TV Now! Say it’s an addiction The CIA’s got plans for it cause War sure great is business Someday they’re gonna watch it on their own private screens -- Where we can get out our message War --- is great for business- B Ab C# F# Cause War is great for business It is always has been -- And then maybe they won’t need to march off to war They can pay their taxes -- at the liquor store -- But until they do --- War is -- and always was -- good business E Emin B Because the people can’t help -- their urge to kill E Emin F#G And they always will kill to pay their bills… E F# B Abmin Don’t scoff, Jimmy-- It’s a Presidential Handoff Where each President returns her better than she found it If you’re lucky - you’ll get a Supreme Court Justice nominee-- E Emin A B But don’t scoff -- at your -- Presidential Hand Off----- JIMMY Apalling, The entire GOP is insufferably cynnical and mercenary - thank God I’ve got control of the nuclear codes now. JERRY Oh, but you dont Jimmy-- we never did! JIMMY What are you talking about, Jerry? JERRY You need to visit Hangar 18 - Room 1776! They’ll set you straight... HANGAR 17.76 Key = Gminor BPM = 112 (music written by Jeff S. Dodge & Brian Shaylor) Musical CAST: Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keys / rhythm zither Brian Shaylor - lead zither Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - drums / Dr. Spielenangel Count Kellam - saw JIMMY CARTER Yes -- I’m the President of the United States now - and I just wanted to see what you keep in this Hangar 17.76? There seems to be no record of it anywhere -- I was told to come speak with you in person Doctor… DOCTOR SPIELENANGEL Doktor Spielenangel -- Tank you - Zie honor ist all mine, Herr President --- Errr Mr. President. JIMMY CARTER Well -- I’ve had quite the experience after being told that man has never actually stepped foot on the moon… DOCTOR SPIELENANGEL Ohh - Vhy zat ist not true at all, Mr. President. Ve have been zhere. Und ve have learned a great many zings…Komm mit me, herr President -- Walk with me,,, JIMMY CARTER Say -- Why does that name Spielenangel sound so familiar to me? DOCTOR SPIELENANGEL Ohh we’ve been to the Moon, all right - we silly earthlings just don’t know what’s really up there DOCTOR SPIELENANGEL Und zhat ist the rest of zie picture, Herr President.. JIMMY CARTER Hey -- now I remember -- Weren’t you on that experimental Rocket Launching U-Boat Division my ship discovered? DOCTOR SPIELENANGEL Oh - ja! I remember zhat! Just before I emigrated und joined NASA! My how quickly times go by - speaking of which, I must leave you with my assistant now for all further questioning---Danke,,, JIMMY CARTER Hey now... Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Well you might think it’s all there in Hangar 18 But what you don’t know is about-- Is Hangar 17 dash 76 Space Aliens are actually time travelling robots from the future warning us about the Atomic Age Space Aliens are actually time travelling robots Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Eb C7th Gmin7th I am no alien - I am you - from the future Eb C7th Gmin7th Eb C7th Gmin7th F Dmin F Dmin Don’t you understand - you ain’t got no plans You’re gonna burn up the earth no matter how many warnings we leave you-- Gmin7th Bb C Sunday ya said ya made it out to your Baptist town crowd Gmin7th Bb C Little did ya know there was aliens in tow trying to make ya fall out Gmin7th Bb C D7th Your Presidential powers equal nothing in the space - time - continu--um Gmin7th C I am no alien - I am you - from the future I am no alien - I am you - from the future We are all just creatures Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Eb C7th Gmin7th Eb C7th Gmin7th Eb C7th Gmin7th F Dmin F Dmin F Dmin F Dmin Gmin7th Bb C Gmin7th Bb C Gmin7th Bb CD7th Eb7th D7th Eb7th Gmin Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Gmin7th C Eb C7th Gmin7th Eb C7th Gmin7th Eb C7th Gmin7th F Dmin F Dmin From the Pyramids to Trafalgar We’ve been hinting at what to do Y’all just ignore us No matter how we run it - we’re always screwed I am no alien - I am you - from the future I am no alien - I am you - from the future We are all just creatures Gmin7th C Pyramids on the moon Nibiru I’ll PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FACE Written by Jeff S. Dodge & Carly Peterson Key = G maj BPM = 160 Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / keyboards Steven Cebula - bass Dick Midnite - Drums BUDDY SEGAL Mr. Handsoft -- Mr. Hansoft?! Can I have a moment of your time? Mr. Hansoft? NELL HANDSOFT Eh? What? SEGAL Mr. Handsoft -- will you swear on this Holy Bible that you’ve actually been to the surface of the Moon? NELL HANDSOFT What are saying? Who the hell are you, boy? SEGAL I’m BUDDY SEGAL and we have some semi-relevant evidence that reveals you guys faking the entire thing! I’m merely asking you if you’ll renounce all of your credibility as a human being and put your hand on this holy bible thereby denying that it’s not at all fake? NELL HANDSOFT What? That doesn’t even make any sense --I can’t hear you, boy ---step a little bit closer... SEGAL I said, would you put your hand on this holy Bible -- (FIST HIT SOUND) Owww - That hurt, you old friggin’ loon - what in the hell did ya do that for? NELL I’ll punch you in your face! G F G F 1-2-3-4 Punch you in your face! Punch you in your face! C F C Call me a disgrace and I’ll G F G F Punch you in your face! Punch you in your face! Bb A G F Bb C D Ya lil’ sh*t ya got a lot of nerve Get in my grill like a little girl I’ve dropped turds that are bigger than you One thing that must be said As I punch you in your head--- Is that yer as good as dead If ya don’t believe what I’ve said-- Punch you in your face! Punch you in your face! Call us a disgrace and we’ll Punch you in your face! 18. THIS WORLD’S GOTTA CHANGE Key = D maj BPM = 140 signature = ¾ Jeff Dodge - vocals / guitars / zither / keys Steven Cebula - bass Rich Reece - Drums Spud Siegel - mandolin Talbott Guthrie - percussion Emin Bmin F#7th Bmin A terrible Tuesday indeed it was but by now 9/11 is really on us G D F# Bmin Black Ops and Lolli - pops are all the eye can see but beneath the surface are the liars and their lies-- who try to hide real- i - ty--ohhh D Major descending lick G Emin A It’s just a matter of what you think - a matter of where you are-- Join your neighbor in a friendly drink -- we’re all going through troubled times… Bmin Emin Bmin F#7th Bmin Didja ever really think it’d be that easy -- to go up to the moon G D F# Bmin “It’s harder to fake it then go it“ says Neil DeGrassi -- wearing a $4000 dollar suit Emin Bmin B D Oh - But what if? What if -- all conspiracies were true? Gravity’s fake -- and the Earth is flat too -- E or maybe it’s just plain old aliens out there on our Moon? D Major descending lick G Emin A It’s just a matter of what you think - a matter of where you are-- Join your neighbor in a friendly drink -- we’re all going through troubled times… E G E G To the victors -- always go the spoils They never empathize Bmin A Bmin A It’s not in their souls D Major descending lick G Emin A This world has gotta change Throw Away the Powers - This world has gotta change let’s be brave & not cower Clean away the filth and rot of these materialistic games Give us all a Universal Based Income The robots will surely come to replace some Just let us grazing cows chew our cud with dignity and respect Oh lord give us all a Universal Based Income????