1) Where Can We Land In The Sea? - This snippet from "The Tiniest Galaxan" was scored for the opening moments of the show's pilot episode, in which space beings from outside the earth's solar system were forced to abort their landing in tranquil Perth-Amboy due to a two-fold error: radar miscalculation and a lack of return-flight fuel. Once Glixtaq (the youngest of the aliens) was jettisoned into the ocean, their craft was lightened enough to ensure their safe return back to the planet Petroleox, a celestial paradise swimming in luxuriant trans-fats, carbon emissions and tobacco products, the ingestion of which fueled their (as they called it) Conquerlustgeist. Who doesn't remember Glixtaq's hilarious pre-splashdown nursing? 2) The Tiniest Galaxan - The theme music for the beloved half-hour comedy series, centering on the antics of the sniveling, cowardly pre-teen Jimmy and his protective friend from the cosmos, who eliminated nickels after ingesting liquid metal of any sort, enabling our young hero to buy protection from his school's bullies by paying off the Gray-Y football team. (A critically-lauded show highlight was the gangfight at the Vespers Service in episode #12.) Ahead of its time. 3) Do The Thurble - Philadelphia was at the forefront of the burgeoning rock 'n' roll scene in the very early 1960s, and the locally-produced "Marty Gold's Teenage Dance Party" set the standard for its later imitators. A highlight of every episode showcased the show's disc jockey, Thurble McManus, emerging from the glass booth housing his beloved Ajax record player and dancing to the 5th-rated record of the week (The Thurble morphed into several variants as it swept the nation, but the original dance involved slipping on a real banana peel then gyrating with the arms to achieve balance). Unfortunately, "Teenage Dance Party" was later forced from the air due to several class-action lawsuits. 4) Furious Antennae - This informative weekly show about insects aired every Friday at midnight and was a big hit with the college crowd from 1975-78, who routinely broke with their studies, chaperoned parlor dates and ice-cream socials for an hour to enjoy footage of ants, bees, mosquitos and gnats devouring each other. 5) Diseased - This joke-fest starred Slappy Berman as Dr. Andrew Spelman, the Christian Scientist Director Of Internal Medicine at Hilbride Hospital, whose hilarious bedside manner ("No aspirin for you, Grandpa!") raised the spirits of young and old alike. The "Malaria" episode won four major Lammy awards, including "Best Comedy Writing By A Lutheran." 6) Breed - More PBN fare, this time emphasizing microscopic footage of the seed of various animal species swimming toward paydirt. This show was so popular with its estimated 200-plus viewers that the pre-emption of an episode in September 1969 (due to the Manchester-Liverpool football playoffs) resulted in at least four angry phone calls from outraged show fans, ensuring a long life for the series. "Undetermined Bear Species Ovum" was the highest-rated show in PBN history. 7) Guess The Cost Of The Item - This was probably the most unique game show in the annals of broadcast TV. The show's contestants would estimate the price of everyday consumer goods, the one coming closest advancing to one of various games in which he/she would compete for cash and prizes. When Mrs. Lesting finally won the Magic Fingers bed (and the year's supply of quarters in the bonus round) there wasn't a dry eye in the studio audience. Host Hugh Flinch's tireless work in the field of Human Rights For Fowl continues to inspire. 8) Konnix - Matt Seldom played the London-based Bangla cigar-eating detective, whose unusual forensic methods always saved the day and solved the case. The script for "Entrails, Dungheaps And Foreheads" (written by the Banturean Laureate, Tribal Elder Noble Agwan Bal-Iteer) actually inspired the LAPD to employ shepherds for a brief time until they were unable to justify the expense to the City Council. 9) Lately With Shecky Duran - The variety show aired briefly in the mid-'60s on QBS at 3:00 AM Eastern until it was called to network owner Ted ("Lead, Follow Or Bring Me My Meds") Quisling's attention that nobody was watching due to the fact that none of their local affiliates were broadcasting during that time period. 10) Anatolian Sunset - This show from 1982 featured beautiful black-and-white photographs of sunsets sent in by viewers (narration by Clemmons-Clemmons Thierry). It aired at dawn on WZCR in Anatolia, Alabama and was the daily lead-in to "The Alabama-Auburn Football Game And Morning News." 11) Looking For Some Tesh - The 3-piece rock band with the beards from Texas (Two Pots And A Pan) searched for an entire year for the entertainment-show anchorman-turned-New Age musician so that they might, in the words of drummer Hoofmeat, "administer a severe tongue-lashing." Ironically, when they finally located him in Dayton, they enjoyed his playing so much that they asked him to join their band as keyboardist. The piece included here is the edit from the final jam session (we did our best to reconstruct the master using SMPTE, but a few frames per every two bars beginning just after 2:00 are missing, giving the jam section a "herky-jerky" or "incomplete" feel which has disoriented some Beta-Testers). Say Ahh - This is an actual out-take of a certain celebrity newsman attempting to prove his virility just prior to the frank and brutal display of his first steps toward personality disintegration (which we all witnessed in the weeks leading up to his final broadcast). Everybody loves television, and this music was written for television! So sit back, relax and enjoy Music For Television!